After more than a year of talks with a young man at our parish, he was baptized, confirmed, and made his first Holy Communion at the Easter Vigil. We seldom have more than one person inquiring at any one time. Part of that is due to the fact that we are a very small parish in a very small town, but also may be an indicator that we are not very good evangelizers.
I have never felt comfortable heading an RCIA program at our parish. Getting deeper into the Catholic faith is a humbling experience. The more I learn, the more I realize how much I do not know. This leads to a feeling of inadequacy. I should not be the person teaching this class. Yet, I don’t trust turning it over to anyone else either. It’s a conundrum.
I try to present the Catholic Faith as accurately as possible. Apologetics is my strength, if I have a strength. The woman who assists with the program is stronger spiritually and not so interested in doctrinal matters. Maybe we complement each other in that sense. Despite our shortcomings, we have a new Catholic in our parish. We will continue to support him as we all grow together in our faith.
Speaking of faith, the gospel on Divine Mercy Sunday was about doubting Thomas who refused to believe in the Resurrection of the Lord without proof.
Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”
Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.” - John 20:24-27
Sitting during my holy hour in front of the Blessed Sacrament today, I thought about this passage and how I can relate to Thomas. I profess my faith during Mass every Sunday, but at times, doubts can still creep into my mind. I’m sure many others feel the same way. We are always looking for that proof.
Thinking about this as I gazed at the monstrance, I wondered what kind of proof it would take to assure me and everyone else that Resurrected Jesus was truly present appearing as a piece of bread. If the host were to bleed right in front of me as some have reportedly done in other places, would I then be totally convinced? Or would I look for another explanation? Would I be able to convince others who had not witnessed what I had witnessed? Would our nearly empty church become filled with pilgrims from all over country seeking to experience the Holy Eucharist?
It is not likely that such a miracle will take place here in front of our very eyes, nor should we desire it. True faith means believing without having seen. Jesus tells us, “Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.” We are blessed!
