Faith and Fear
Back in January, I wrote about my beautiful granddaughter and how much I loved her. At the time, my son was contemplating employment some 500 miles away and I was dreading the separation. As it turned out, he did not accept that job, and in the ensuing months, he and his wife and daughter moved in with us. With another baby on the way, he was unemployed and without insurance. While living with us, I became even more attached to my granddaughter who is not yet 2 years old. Our family had become somewhat like the Waltons with three generations, including another adult daughter, living under one roof.
This past week, my son was offered Director of Liturgy and Music and a very large parish more than nine hours away from here. He really had no choice but to accept the job since he was unable to find anything closer. In three weeks, they will be moving. While I am grateful and relieved he will be earning money and receiving benefits, I am heartbroken that we will be separated.
I guess it is time to bare my soul a bit. I would call this coming out of the closet, but that phrase has taken on a common meaning far different from my situation. I have lived the past 55 years or so with panic disorder. It’s a mental illness, cause not really known. It is difficult to describe to someone who has never experienced it. To varying degrees, people with panic disorder can develop fears or phobias. An attack can come on unexpectedly. Once an attack occurs in a certain situation, the fear of another attack in a similar situation becomes the catalyst for another attack. In other words, if one believes a certain situation will trigger an attack, then it will. The actual fear is of the attack itself. Symptoms vary, but it can best be described as an intense physiological reaction to most any stimulus.
People with uncontrolled panic disorder structure their lives around the fears they harbor. Even when an attack is not occurring, the knowledge of the possibility creates an uneasiness that can be unsettling, almost as if one were living in a haunted house knowing that a ghost might emerge from a closet at any moment. Those affected often develop a comfort zone of varying sizes surrounding themselves. Venturing outside the comfort zone can be very uncomfortable. For some people, that comfort zone can be a single room in a house. Fortunately, mine never got that small, but it exists nonetheless.
The condition is sometimes called agoraphobia, or fear of the market place. When faced with extreme fear, the body goes into a fight or flight response. Adrenaline is released into the bloodstream, the heart rate and blood pressure rise, and various hormones are released into the body to deal with the threat. In this case, the threat is irrational or imagined, but the response is very real.
My illness started at a very early age, perhaps even in grade school, but really taking hold my first year of high school. I won’t go into detail here, but it kept me from doing lots of things I would have liked to have done. Yet, I have led a fairly successful life, working for the same company for over forty years with an attendance record few could match. My comfort zone is large enough to avoid panic on a routine basis, but anxiety stands at the ready in my mind. Travel is difficult for me, always has been. Anytime I am forced out of my comfort zone, that awful feeling creeps in. Concentration becomes difficult and an uneasy tenseness tightens its grip.
The irony is that I am generally a very rational person and I recognize my own irrational behavior although unable to control it. Doctors think it may be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and there are medications that help, but the irrational fear itself often prevents victims of panic disorder from seeking help. I don’t believe I have ever been properly treated. My doctor gives me low doses of Xanax that help me relax a little and sleep better, but does not really treat the problem.
So, why bring all of this out in the open now? The anticipation of my son and his family moving so far out of my comfort zone is causing me tremendous stress. I tend to be a very emotional person anyway, and this has set me off into uncharted territory. I am a sixty-two year old man who cries easily, and this is a rough time. How am I going to handle this separation? With a new grandchild on the way, I am going to have to make this trip. This affliction has shown to be hereditary, and all three of my children have experienced problems with anxiety, though not as debilitating as I. I worry about them also.
Now, all of this must sound silly to anyone who has not experienced it. Frankly, it sounds silly to me too. Most people undoubtedly feel sadness or dread when a loved one moves away or goes off to serve our country. That is a rational feeling. What I am talking about goes way beyond what normal people experience. This experience distorts reality, making one feel somewhat disconnected from his surroundings. It can make a person totally dysfunctional in a matter of seconds. Living an entire life with a millstone around the neck can be disconcerting to say the least.
How does my Catholic Faith play into this? If we have complete trust in Our Lord, we should never need to worry about anything. Jesus, I trust in you. I can say those words over and over again. Yet, my worries still haunt me. Am I a hypocrite for saying I trust in God when my body says otherwise. I find it difficult, even impossible, to relinquish control. Jesus, I trust in you, but apparently not enough to accept my suffering and place it in your hands. The irony here is that once a person with panic disorder accepts it and simply allows it to happen, it generally subsides or disappears.
Is it a sin to be a coward, to be unable to face your fears like many normal people do? Is this a character flaw or simply a medical abnormality? Allowing fear to rule one’s life certainly seems selfish in the sense that one’s personal comfort takes dominance over concern for others. I have mentioned my inability to place all my trust in Our Lord in the confessional. I have prayed for help, and I do admit that strides have been made over the years. Within my comfort zone, which is large enough to manage my everyday life, I am very functional. My daily routine is normally joyful. My co-workers would likely be very surprised to know what goes on in my head!
All of this has made me very conscious of people who live with mental illness, and especially those who suffer from mental anguish for whatever reason. I also know that behavior is affected by these hidden handicaps in many people. Please do not be quick to criticize every person who may avoid a family function or not participate in the way you would like. Pray for those who are suffering inside with fears they are ashamed to discuss, especially young people who are unable to function to the point of being outcasts by their peers, and subject to taunting or isolation. Reach out to those who may appear socially awkward. They may actually be dealing with a very troubled existence. Pray for those who may be alone with these fears and unable to reach for help. Pray for them and pray for me.
Dear Lord, I offer you my suffering in reparation for my sins and for the sins of others. Have mercy on me in my weakness and give me the strength to face my fears with confidence and trust. Help me to accept this small cross joyfully and without trepidation. Help others who may be suffering similarly in isolation with no hope for getting help. Give all of us the strength to persevere. Jesus, I trust in you. Amen.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Evangelizing Jesus?
An article by blogger Jack Spatafora caught my eye on Good Friday. The title read, “Sorry! Here’s Why Jesus Wouldn’t Join Today’s Church.” The author’s bio describes him as 40 years educator/writer/intellectual, vagabond, speech writer for the White House and Fortune 500 CEOs, etc. With the Catholic Church very much in the news following the recent papal conclave and Holy Week, I suppose we should expect a few curmudgeons to ventilate.
Mr. Spatafora portrays Christianity as evolving from a comradeship among the apostles, to a formal philosophy in ancient Greece, to an institution in Rome, to a culture throughout Europe, and to an enterprise in our country today. As he puts it, “A dynamic of doctrines which quickly took on the appearance of one more Yankee venture that needed to be sold as the best product on the market.” The closing paragraph reads as follows:
“Here's the point. Christianity has come a long long way from that first humble Good Friday. Replete with big ideas, big budgets, big dreams, big horizons two billion strong. Would there be room here for a scruffy, bearded, unemployed hippie in sandals and visions...? I don't think so. And I don't think Jesus would have thought so too. It's not exactly what he seems to have had in mind.”
Understanding this author from my Catholic perspective is a bit of a conundrum. During the first three stages of his perceived evolution, Christianity is the Catholic Church. At some point during the fourth cultural stage came the so-called reformation or rejection of the true Church that eventually brought about the fragmentation of Christianity we see today. Would Jesus be happy with the fractured Christianity He sees today? I would think not. Would He join the Catholic Church today? He never left it, so how could He?
Speculating on whether Jesus would “join” today’s church is a little like wondering whether my great great great grandfather would “join” my current extended family. He is a progenitor and we are his descending children. Over many generations, descendants become numerous. Would my great great great grandfather be pleased with everything that goes on in our family today? Likely not, but he would not and could not become detached from the relationship. He would definitely not be pleased with those who have chosen to separate themselves from the family, and these may be the ones that better fit Spatafora’s model.
Our separated brothers and sisters, especially those in non-denominational congregations far removed from the historical Catholic Church, find themselves in competition with many other ecclesial communities. While geared to Bible-believing Christians, they are not centered in the Eucharist as we are. The face of their congregation may be a charismatic preacher, a dynamic praise band, or close-knit fellowship. Such groups may resemble a business model as they compete for membership. The so-called megachurches may be the Walmarts of modern-day Christianity.
Would Henry Ford want to join the Ford Motor Company today? After all, Ford has come a long way from that company founded in 1903. Replete with big ideas, big budgets, big dreams, big horizons, new technology, and over 200,000 employees worldwide, would there be room for an innovative industrialist and pacifist?
Ford’s legacy will remain with his company forever. In a much greater way, Jesus remains alive with His Church to the end of the age. The Church is the Mystical Body of Christ. Separating Jesus from the Church is impossible. Does the Church look the same as it did 2000 years ago? No, although most Protestants would be shocked to know what similarities remain! The Church has grown over the centuries from east to west, holding fast to the deposit of faith as revealed by God. Is the Church an enterprise? In some respects, certainly. The Church is competing for souls, and convincing people to listen to an authoritative Church is a tough sell these days.
Just as Henry Ford established his company, expecting it to grow and be profitable, Jesus established His Church, with the great commission to spread His gospel. At the end of Matthew’s gospel, Jesus says, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
This describes precisely what the Church has done and is still striving to do. Evangelization today necessitates big ideas, big budgets, big dreams, and big horizons. The Church encompasses everything Spatafora describes. These facets are not mutually exclusive. In the Church, we have comradeship, philosophies, an institution, many cultures, and enterprise. Casting the Church as a “venture that needed to be sold as the best product on the market” is basically truth stated in a pejorative way. The Catholic Church is the best product on the market for getting us to heaven. As Catholic apologist Tim Staples often states when questioned about various issues in the Church, “I’m not in management; I’m in sales.” Indeed, making disciples of all nations requires all of us to be salesmen, promoting our faith in the way we live our lives each day.
An article by blogger Jack Spatafora caught my eye on Good Friday. The title read, “Sorry! Here’s Why Jesus Wouldn’t Join Today’s Church.” The author’s bio describes him as 40 years educator/writer/intellectual, vagabond, speech writer for the White House and Fortune 500 CEOs, etc. With the Catholic Church very much in the news following the recent papal conclave and Holy Week, I suppose we should expect a few curmudgeons to ventilate.
Mr. Spatafora portrays Christianity as evolving from a comradeship among the apostles, to a formal philosophy in ancient Greece, to an institution in Rome, to a culture throughout Europe, and to an enterprise in our country today. As he puts it, “A dynamic of doctrines which quickly took on the appearance of one more Yankee venture that needed to be sold as the best product on the market.” The closing paragraph reads as follows:
“Here's the point. Christianity has come a long long way from that first humble Good Friday. Replete with big ideas, big budgets, big dreams, big horizons two billion strong. Would there be room here for a scruffy, bearded, unemployed hippie in sandals and visions...? I don't think so. And I don't think Jesus would have thought so too. It's not exactly what he seems to have had in mind.”
Understanding this author from my Catholic perspective is a bit of a conundrum. During the first three stages of his perceived evolution, Christianity is the Catholic Church. At some point during the fourth cultural stage came the so-called reformation or rejection of the true Church that eventually brought about the fragmentation of Christianity we see today. Would Jesus be happy with the fractured Christianity He sees today? I would think not. Would He join the Catholic Church today? He never left it, so how could He?
Speculating on whether Jesus would “join” today’s church is a little like wondering whether my great great great grandfather would “join” my current extended family. He is a progenitor and we are his descending children. Over many generations, descendants become numerous. Would my great great great grandfather be pleased with everything that goes on in our family today? Likely not, but he would not and could not become detached from the relationship. He would definitely not be pleased with those who have chosen to separate themselves from the family, and these may be the ones that better fit Spatafora’s model.
Our separated brothers and sisters, especially those in non-denominational congregations far removed from the historical Catholic Church, find themselves in competition with many other ecclesial communities. While geared to Bible-believing Christians, they are not centered in the Eucharist as we are. The face of their congregation may be a charismatic preacher, a dynamic praise band, or close-knit fellowship. Such groups may resemble a business model as they compete for membership. The so-called megachurches may be the Walmarts of modern-day Christianity.
Would Henry Ford want to join the Ford Motor Company today? After all, Ford has come a long way from that company founded in 1903. Replete with big ideas, big budgets, big dreams, big horizons, new technology, and over 200,000 employees worldwide, would there be room for an innovative industrialist and pacifist?
Ford’s legacy will remain with his company forever. In a much greater way, Jesus remains alive with His Church to the end of the age. The Church is the Mystical Body of Christ. Separating Jesus from the Church is impossible. Does the Church look the same as it did 2000 years ago? No, although most Protestants would be shocked to know what similarities remain! The Church has grown over the centuries from east to west, holding fast to the deposit of faith as revealed by God. Is the Church an enterprise? In some respects, certainly. The Church is competing for souls, and convincing people to listen to an authoritative Church is a tough sell these days.
Just as Henry Ford established his company, expecting it to grow and be profitable, Jesus established His Church, with the great commission to spread His gospel. At the end of Matthew’s gospel, Jesus says, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
This describes precisely what the Church has done and is still striving to do. Evangelization today necessitates big ideas, big budgets, big dreams, and big horizons. The Church encompasses everything Spatafora describes. These facets are not mutually exclusive. In the Church, we have comradeship, philosophies, an institution, many cultures, and enterprise. Casting the Church as a “venture that needed to be sold as the best product on the market” is basically truth stated in a pejorative way. The Catholic Church is the best product on the market for getting us to heaven. As Catholic apologist Tim Staples often states when questioned about various issues in the Church, “I’m not in management; I’m in sales.” Indeed, making disciples of all nations requires all of us to be salesmen, promoting our faith in the way we live our lives each day.
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
Forward Halt
A popular television commercial for a well-known insurance company shows a young woman having a conversation about the Internet while waiting for her date to arrive. She says they can’t put things on the Internet if they are not true. She also says her date is a French model she met on the Internet. As the scruffy-looking male approaches with a very American-sounding “bonjour” greeting, it becomes clearly evident he is no French model.
By now, Internet-savvy people know that most anything imaginable can appear in cyberspace. One must use extreme caution when discerning information from unknown sources. Unsolicited information is even more suspect. What many people apparently do not realize is that forwarded emails that would appear to support causes we strongly believe in, may not in fact be as they appear.
Over the years, I have developed a sense of cyber-smell, a sixth sense that is activated whenever a forwarded email gives off an odor of suspicion. Undated messages reporting recent events are always questionable since forwarded emails by their very nature never die. Especially suspicious are those who blame the biased news media as the reason you never heard of this event, and then try to shame you into forwarding it to everyone in your address book.
Such was the case last week when a local parishioner forwarded an “Unbelievable and shocking!” statement by “Father Juan Carlos Martos cmf Secretariat of PV Clarettiani Missionaries” showing a photo of hundreds of charred bodies lying in rows before bystanders in front of a dilapidated building. The caption said, “This is a brutal example of how far the struggle between muslims and catholics in Nigeria has reached.”
Emails to the parish webpage pass through me, and this particular parishioner floods our inbox almost daily with various forwarded messages she deems of interest. I confess that I usually delete anything with “Fwd” in the subject line, but this message also included a plea to our pastor to put this in the bulletin and preach on it. Knowing that she also sends them directly to our pastor, I thought it prudent to check the claims for accuracy since my sixth olfactory sensor went off when I read it.
The posting contained no date or particulars on the incident pictured, although our parishioner claimed it occurred near the end of January. The message goes on to criticize “Human Rights Organizations” for lack of action and the “(Spanish) Facebook Management for not allowing the poster to publish this graphic “as proof of the Holocaust that Christians have been suffering in Nigeria in the last ten years.” While Christians are being persecuted in predominately Muslim countries and media is selective about what they report, I could not believe a story of this magnitude would not make the American press. The end of the message urges everyone to “distribute this photo and its comments using all the media you have.”
I first checked Snopes.com, a well-known fact checker. Yes, I am aware of all the other forwarded messages claiming Snopes is biased. In any case, it is still a good place to start. I found nothing there. What I did find was this same story being circulated by numerous bloggers, most if not all Christian sources. Does that make the story true, or are they simply repeating their outrage at the same fictitious posting? None of these were mainstream news sources. Are they ignoring this tragic story or did it not even occur? Searching for the existence of Father Juan Carlos Marcos, nothing turned up apart from the numerous postings of his purported statement.
Digging a little deeper, I found numerous sites claiming this story is a hoax. The picture is real, but the photograph shows the aftermath of a tragic accident that occurred when a tanker truck overturned in the Democratic Republic of Congo in early July of 2010. The tanker exploded as villagers from Sangue were trying to take fuel from the ruptured tank. Over 300 were fatally burned in the fireball. So how do we know who is telling the truth here?
This story of Muslims burning Catholics really caught fire at the end of January 2013, but versions of it appear on the Internet much earlier. Furthermore, the same picture of burned bodies appears in 2010 with a story about the exploding tanker. Within a few minutes of Internet fact-checking, I was fairly certain this particular story of Muslims burning Catholics was fabricated.
I immediately replied to the parishioner with a link to a source pointing out the problem with the story. Fearful that our priest would tell the story from the pulpit, I also sent him a copy calling the story a hoax. The next day I received a reply from the parishioner saying she did not trust the hoax story and she accused me of believing anything, including msNBC. Ouch! I replied again with further evidence and she acknowledged the story could be problematic.
Imagine my surprise when our pastor told the story in his homily this past Sunday. He expressed outrage that 300 Catholics in Africa were locked in their church and set on fire, and the anti-Catholic media in this country refused to report the story. Have you ever wanted to jump out of your pew in the middle of a homily and say, “Father, that’s a lie!”
Why would anyone fabricate a story like this in the first place? One blogger ties the origin to an anti-Muslim activist who I will not name because verification of this is difficult. As Catholics, we need to be truthful in all things. Our credibility and integrity are at stake. We have enough legitimate claims of persecution without spreading lies. To vilify our oppressors and the press unfairly is counterproductive.
Calumny is a serious sin. Granted those forwarding this story may be well-intended, but they are allowing themselves to be used as conduits of deceit by someone spreading hatred. Do not be too quick to forward emails that may speak to your liking. Be absolutely certain they are factual before sending them on. If it sounds too bad to be true, it probably isn’t.
A popular television commercial for a well-known insurance company shows a young woman having a conversation about the Internet while waiting for her date to arrive. She says they can’t put things on the Internet if they are not true. She also says her date is a French model she met on the Internet. As the scruffy-looking male approaches with a very American-sounding “bonjour” greeting, it becomes clearly evident he is no French model.
By now, Internet-savvy people know that most anything imaginable can appear in cyberspace. One must use extreme caution when discerning information from unknown sources. Unsolicited information is even more suspect. What many people apparently do not realize is that forwarded emails that would appear to support causes we strongly believe in, may not in fact be as they appear.
Over the years, I have developed a sense of cyber-smell, a sixth sense that is activated whenever a forwarded email gives off an odor of suspicion. Undated messages reporting recent events are always questionable since forwarded emails by their very nature never die. Especially suspicious are those who blame the biased news media as the reason you never heard of this event, and then try to shame you into forwarding it to everyone in your address book.
Such was the case last week when a local parishioner forwarded an “Unbelievable and shocking!” statement by “Father Juan Carlos Martos cmf Secretariat of PV Clarettiani Missionaries” showing a photo of hundreds of charred bodies lying in rows before bystanders in front of a dilapidated building. The caption said, “This is a brutal example of how far the struggle between muslims and catholics in Nigeria has reached.”
Emails to the parish webpage pass through me, and this particular parishioner floods our inbox almost daily with various forwarded messages she deems of interest. I confess that I usually delete anything with “Fwd” in the subject line, but this message also included a plea to our pastor to put this in the bulletin and preach on it. Knowing that she also sends them directly to our pastor, I thought it prudent to check the claims for accuracy since my sixth olfactory sensor went off when I read it.
The posting contained no date or particulars on the incident pictured, although our parishioner claimed it occurred near the end of January. The message goes on to criticize “Human Rights Organizations” for lack of action and the “(Spanish) Facebook Management for not allowing the poster to publish this graphic “as proof of the Holocaust that Christians have been suffering in Nigeria in the last ten years.” While Christians are being persecuted in predominately Muslim countries and media is selective about what they report, I could not believe a story of this magnitude would not make the American press. The end of the message urges everyone to “distribute this photo and its comments using all the media you have.”
I first checked Snopes.com, a well-known fact checker. Yes, I am aware of all the other forwarded messages claiming Snopes is biased. In any case, it is still a good place to start. I found nothing there. What I did find was this same story being circulated by numerous bloggers, most if not all Christian sources. Does that make the story true, or are they simply repeating their outrage at the same fictitious posting? None of these were mainstream news sources. Are they ignoring this tragic story or did it not even occur? Searching for the existence of Father Juan Carlos Marcos, nothing turned up apart from the numerous postings of his purported statement.
Digging a little deeper, I found numerous sites claiming this story is a hoax. The picture is real, but the photograph shows the aftermath of a tragic accident that occurred when a tanker truck overturned in the Democratic Republic of Congo in early July of 2010. The tanker exploded as villagers from Sangue were trying to take fuel from the ruptured tank. Over 300 were fatally burned in the fireball. So how do we know who is telling the truth here?
This story of Muslims burning Catholics really caught fire at the end of January 2013, but versions of it appear on the Internet much earlier. Furthermore, the same picture of burned bodies appears in 2010 with a story about the exploding tanker. Within a few minutes of Internet fact-checking, I was fairly certain this particular story of Muslims burning Catholics was fabricated.
I immediately replied to the parishioner with a link to a source pointing out the problem with the story. Fearful that our priest would tell the story from the pulpit, I also sent him a copy calling the story a hoax. The next day I received a reply from the parishioner saying she did not trust the hoax story and she accused me of believing anything, including msNBC. Ouch! I replied again with further evidence and she acknowledged the story could be problematic.
Imagine my surprise when our pastor told the story in his homily this past Sunday. He expressed outrage that 300 Catholics in Africa were locked in their church and set on fire, and the anti-Catholic media in this country refused to report the story. Have you ever wanted to jump out of your pew in the middle of a homily and say, “Father, that’s a lie!”
Why would anyone fabricate a story like this in the first place? One blogger ties the origin to an anti-Muslim activist who I will not name because verification of this is difficult. As Catholics, we need to be truthful in all things. Our credibility and integrity are at stake. We have enough legitimate claims of persecution without spreading lies. To vilify our oppressors and the press unfairly is counterproductive.
Calumny is a serious sin. Granted those forwarding this story may be well-intended, but they are allowing themselves to be used as conduits of deceit by someone spreading hatred. Do not be too quick to forward emails that may speak to your liking. Be absolutely certain they are factual before sending them on. If it sounds too bad to be true, it probably isn’t.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
"Sole" Man
“Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.” - 1John4:8
God and love are inseparable. One cannot be eliminated from a person’s life without losing the other also. Oh, you may still have friendships and some concern for others, but that isn’t love in its truest sense. It is more likely centered in self-preservation. Some very loving families without a conscious faith in God exist, but God is still there despite their lack of awareness. So, what happens when someone who was raised in a God-centered loving family decides to reject God?
The first question that comes to mind is why would anyone do such a thing? That is one I struggle with. Did a certain event take place that traumatized the person, or was it an evolutionary series of experiences that changed the course of a life? It’s one thing to never have known God. Many wander through life that way, and they are not all bad people. I know some very good people who have never been in a church except for an occasional wedding or funeral. What happens then when a baptized man, raised in the Church, has received the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ, God Himself, eventually turns his back?
Generally speaking, people who enter into the Catholic Church from another denomination are exuberant and not angry toward the community from which they have come. On the other hand, people leaving the Catholic Church tend to spew some venom on their way out. This is not difficult to understand when viewed in the context of marriage and divorce, for if Christ truly established the Catholic Church (which can be historically shown), then coming into union with that Body is cause for joy whereas a separation oozes bitterness.
A rejection of God is a rejection of love. One cannot reject God without rejecting love. That would be a contradiction. While one can quit praying, going to Mass and receiving the sacraments in an all-out statement of Godly rejection, the love still tries to come in from family members and others who see Christ in everyone. Does there come a point where the rejection of God manifests itself, either consciously or sub-consciously, in the rejection of the love of others, and if so, how does one accomplish this?
One way would be to minimize communication with family members and others who truly love and care for the person – in effect, build an imaginary wall around oneself and fend off anyone who tries to penetrate. This may work quite well in families where faith in God is minimal. Showing disrespect for family members can create divisions that go on for years. The problem comes when some family members have enough love not to give up so easily. What happens when those being rejected turn the other cheek, apologize for wrongs never likely committed, and keep trying to penetrate the invisible wall?
We occasionally hear stories of a young person committing violent acts against his entire family and wonder how could anyone do such a thing. When all efforts to reinforce the invisible wall fail, prison walls may become an option. I wonder how many of those victims were family members who refused to stop loving. When God’s love is spurned, the evil one if free to move in.
Those living in self-imposed isolation cannot possibly enjoy life in the fullest sense. Like a sugar-substitute, they may involve themselves in other worldly diversions seeking the sweetness only true love can bring. They may try to find fulfillment in expensive toys, activities, or even drugs and alcohol, but all fall short. Nothing can fill the void left when love is missing from one’s life. Yet, one does not necessarily need a spouse, family or friends to feel loved. As John reminds us, God is love, and God’s love is available to everyone. All we have to do is open our hearts and let Him in.
Have mercy on those who are lonely not by their own choosing. Be a channel of God’s love with a smile and kind words. We are all members of Christ’s body. A simple invitation to Mass or a church function might open a window that might otherwise forever remain closed. And pray for those isolated by choice that the Holy Spirit might penetrate that cold exterior to allow the warm light of Christ to enter.
“Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.” - 1John4:8
God and love are inseparable. One cannot be eliminated from a person’s life without losing the other also. Oh, you may still have friendships and some concern for others, but that isn’t love in its truest sense. It is more likely centered in self-preservation. Some very loving families without a conscious faith in God exist, but God is still there despite their lack of awareness. So, what happens when someone who was raised in a God-centered loving family decides to reject God?
The first question that comes to mind is why would anyone do such a thing? That is one I struggle with. Did a certain event take place that traumatized the person, or was it an evolutionary series of experiences that changed the course of a life? It’s one thing to never have known God. Many wander through life that way, and they are not all bad people. I know some very good people who have never been in a church except for an occasional wedding or funeral. What happens then when a baptized man, raised in the Church, has received the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ, God Himself, eventually turns his back?
Generally speaking, people who enter into the Catholic Church from another denomination are exuberant and not angry toward the community from which they have come. On the other hand, people leaving the Catholic Church tend to spew some venom on their way out. This is not difficult to understand when viewed in the context of marriage and divorce, for if Christ truly established the Catholic Church (which can be historically shown), then coming into union with that Body is cause for joy whereas a separation oozes bitterness.
A rejection of God is a rejection of love. One cannot reject God without rejecting love. That would be a contradiction. While one can quit praying, going to Mass and receiving the sacraments in an all-out statement of Godly rejection, the love still tries to come in from family members and others who see Christ in everyone. Does there come a point where the rejection of God manifests itself, either consciously or sub-consciously, in the rejection of the love of others, and if so, how does one accomplish this?
One way would be to minimize communication with family members and others who truly love and care for the person – in effect, build an imaginary wall around oneself and fend off anyone who tries to penetrate. This may work quite well in families where faith in God is minimal. Showing disrespect for family members can create divisions that go on for years. The problem comes when some family members have enough love not to give up so easily. What happens when those being rejected turn the other cheek, apologize for wrongs never likely committed, and keep trying to penetrate the invisible wall?
We occasionally hear stories of a young person committing violent acts against his entire family and wonder how could anyone do such a thing. When all efforts to reinforce the invisible wall fail, prison walls may become an option. I wonder how many of those victims were family members who refused to stop loving. When God’s love is spurned, the evil one if free to move in.
Those living in self-imposed isolation cannot possibly enjoy life in the fullest sense. Like a sugar-substitute, they may involve themselves in other worldly diversions seeking the sweetness only true love can bring. They may try to find fulfillment in expensive toys, activities, or even drugs and alcohol, but all fall short. Nothing can fill the void left when love is missing from one’s life. Yet, one does not necessarily need a spouse, family or friends to feel loved. As John reminds us, God is love, and God’s love is available to everyone. All we have to do is open our hearts and let Him in.
Have mercy on those who are lonely not by their own choosing. Be a channel of God’s love with a smile and kind words. We are all members of Christ’s body. A simple invitation to Mass or a church function might open a window that might otherwise forever remain closed. And pray for those isolated by choice that the Holy Spirit might penetrate that cold exterior to allow the warm light of Christ to enter.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
A Child’s Love
I am writing this on the 40th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion in the United States. Nearly eighteen months ago, I became a grandfather for the first time. That little girl is the most precious child in the world to me. Last Saturday and yesterday (Monday), I was able to spend both days babysitting while her parents were out of town and my wife was working.
Of course, all grandfathers are prejudiced, but my little girl is absolutely beautiful. Her nearly constant smile and toothy grin are enough to make anyone’s heart melt. She is smart, sings the alphabet song, and her mother is teaching her sign language to enable communication with her hearing-impaired great-grandmother. In the five days she spent with us, I never heard her cry one time. She took her naps and bedtimes without resistance. Yes, she got into everything and our house is far from childproof. I have also become reaquainted with the art of diaper-changing.
She calls me something that sounds like gampaw. Any time I left the room, she would call for me repeatedly until I showed my face. Yesterday during some quiet time, she snuggled up on my lap while we watched a children’s program on television. I nearly drifted off, only to be awakened by her kissing me on the cheek. I looked at her, and she just smiled. That beautiful moment will stay with me forever and I can’t think about it now without tearing up.
Last evening, my son and daughter-in-law returned to take her home. My son has received a job offer that will likely take my granddaughter some 500 miles away. He is a talented organist and has been trying for months to find employment with a Catholic parish as liturgical music director. Unfortunately, those jobs are difficult to find. Those are also jobs that require working every weekend and Christmas. Getting to hold my granddaughter may now be limited to a couple of times a year, another thought that brings tears to my eyes. I love her so much.
On this anniversary of Roe v. Wade, I would simply ask anyone considering an abortion, to reconsider. You may feel lost, afraid, and unloved at this time, but don’t destroy a beautiful child that will love you for the rest of your life. Don’t deprive yourself of those special unexpected moments that will bring everlasting joyful memories. Destroying a life is no remedy for a something unwanted that has happened to you. It can only make things worse. If for some reason, you cannot care for your child, there are couples anxious to experience those beautiful moments themselves. Choose life. Choose love.
I am writing this on the 40th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion in the United States. Nearly eighteen months ago, I became a grandfather for the first time. That little girl is the most precious child in the world to me. Last Saturday and yesterday (Monday), I was able to spend both days babysitting while her parents were out of town and my wife was working.
Of course, all grandfathers are prejudiced, but my little girl is absolutely beautiful. Her nearly constant smile and toothy grin are enough to make anyone’s heart melt. She is smart, sings the alphabet song, and her mother is teaching her sign language to enable communication with her hearing-impaired great-grandmother. In the five days she spent with us, I never heard her cry one time. She took her naps and bedtimes without resistance. Yes, she got into everything and our house is far from childproof. I have also become reaquainted with the art of diaper-changing.
She calls me something that sounds like gampaw. Any time I left the room, she would call for me repeatedly until I showed my face. Yesterday during some quiet time, she snuggled up on my lap while we watched a children’s program on television. I nearly drifted off, only to be awakened by her kissing me on the cheek. I looked at her, and she just smiled. That beautiful moment will stay with me forever and I can’t think about it now without tearing up.
Last evening, my son and daughter-in-law returned to take her home. My son has received a job offer that will likely take my granddaughter some 500 miles away. He is a talented organist and has been trying for months to find employment with a Catholic parish as liturgical music director. Unfortunately, those jobs are difficult to find. Those are also jobs that require working every weekend and Christmas. Getting to hold my granddaughter may now be limited to a couple of times a year, another thought that brings tears to my eyes. I love her so much.
On this anniversary of Roe v. Wade, I would simply ask anyone considering an abortion, to reconsider. You may feel lost, afraid, and unloved at this time, but don’t destroy a beautiful child that will love you for the rest of your life. Don’t deprive yourself of those special unexpected moments that will bring everlasting joyful memories. Destroying a life is no remedy for a something unwanted that has happened to you. It can only make things worse. If for some reason, you cannot care for your child, there are couples anxious to experience those beautiful moments themselves. Choose life. Choose love.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Obligaton Observation
The Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary is one of only two Catholic Holy Days of Obligation that is not abrogated when it falls on a Monday or Saturday as it did this year, the other being Christmas. The same thing occurred as recently as five years ago, but I do not remember confusion arising then as it did this year. The Church is generally clear in describing our obligations to us. After all, deliberately missing Mass on a Holy Day can be a mortal sin, so this is serious business.
In our parish, the problem began on the previous Sunday when our pastor announced that the 4:30 PM Saturday evening Mass on December 8 would be for the Immaculate Conception. The bulletin emphatically stated in all caps, “THERE WILL BE NO VIGIL MASS FOR SUNDAY.” The implication was that attending Mass on Saturday evening would not fulfill the Sunday obligation. Even with my limited knowledge of Canon Law, I had an understanding that Mass readings had no bearing in determining whether one’s obligation was satisfied. An article by Canon Lawyer, Dr. Edward Peters, confirmed my belief, and also reaffirmed the fact that one must attend two Masses that weekend. The Saturday evening Mass could satisfy either obligation, but not both. I later found that disagreement existed, even among Catholic clergy, about whether the Saturday evening Mass could fulfill two obligations at once, but the general consensus sided with Dr. Peters.
My wife is the organist at the Saturday evening Mass, so we prepared music for the Immaculate Conception, and a different collection of hymns for Sunday, the Second Sunday of Advent. I decided to attend the Friday evening vigil Mass for the Immaculate Conception in addition to the weekend Masses. Our priest approached me before Mass asking if we were having music that evening. I said no. We would be having music for the Immaculate Conception on Saturday evening. He then stated there had been a change in plans. His “ordo had arrived this week” and the Saturday evening Mass would use the Second Sunday of Advent liturgy. Fine, I thought. That is the way it should be, but the confusion resulted in us not having a sung Mass for this very important Holy Day.
With no advance warning, some parishioners arrived at Saturday evening Mass expecting to celebrate the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. At the end of Mass, Father explained that those who had not previously fulfilled their Holy Day obligation had now done so, but would need to return on Sunday. By strict interpretation of Canon Law 1248, they could also follow him to our sister parish six miles away and attend their 6 PM Vigil Mass, hear the same liturgy and homily, and satisfy their Sunday obligation. Here is where the Church needs to fine-tune the rules in my opinion.
I understand why the actual readings proclaimed at Mass should not determine whether one’s obligation has been satisfied. If the wrong Gospel is read by mistake at a Sunday Mass, surely Catholics could not be obligated to attend another Mass with the correctly prescribed reading. Yet, it seems to me that an exception should be made in the case where a day of obligation falls on a Saturday or Monday. The argument could be made for attending two Masses if the liturgical content (i.e. readings and homily) were required relevance for the Mass to count. If the readings do not matter as far as fulfilling the obligation, then it seems one Mass should be sufficient. When a Catholic feels he must be present at two Masses with the same readings and the same homily in order to avoid committing a mortal sin, the whole purpose of Mass attendance becomes misdirected.
We are often accused of being a religion of rules and regulations. Encouraging Mass attendance for the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception and also the 2nd Sunday of Advent one day apart is perfectly sensible, but allowing acceptance of the requirement by attending two identical Masses an hour apart places a technicality aura around the Mass that diminishes the true meaning of the celebration. While it may fulfill the letter of the law, it certainly seems to diminish the purpose of the dual observation and adds fodder for those who call us a legalistic religion.
Six years from now, the same situation will occur again. I hope by then, the Church will provide clarity by tweaking Canon Law 1248 to distinguish separately the time periods for observance when two Holy Days of Obligation are consecutive.
The Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary is one of only two Catholic Holy Days of Obligation that is not abrogated when it falls on a Monday or Saturday as it did this year, the other being Christmas. The same thing occurred as recently as five years ago, but I do not remember confusion arising then as it did this year. The Church is generally clear in describing our obligations to us. After all, deliberately missing Mass on a Holy Day can be a mortal sin, so this is serious business.
In our parish, the problem began on the previous Sunday when our pastor announced that the 4:30 PM Saturday evening Mass on December 8 would be for the Immaculate Conception. The bulletin emphatically stated in all caps, “THERE WILL BE NO VIGIL MASS FOR SUNDAY.” The implication was that attending Mass on Saturday evening would not fulfill the Sunday obligation. Even with my limited knowledge of Canon Law, I had an understanding that Mass readings had no bearing in determining whether one’s obligation was satisfied. An article by Canon Lawyer, Dr. Edward Peters, confirmed my belief, and also reaffirmed the fact that one must attend two Masses that weekend. The Saturday evening Mass could satisfy either obligation, but not both. I later found that disagreement existed, even among Catholic clergy, about whether the Saturday evening Mass could fulfill two obligations at once, but the general consensus sided with Dr. Peters.
My wife is the organist at the Saturday evening Mass, so we prepared music for the Immaculate Conception, and a different collection of hymns for Sunday, the Second Sunday of Advent. I decided to attend the Friday evening vigil Mass for the Immaculate Conception in addition to the weekend Masses. Our priest approached me before Mass asking if we were having music that evening. I said no. We would be having music for the Immaculate Conception on Saturday evening. He then stated there had been a change in plans. His “ordo had arrived this week” and the Saturday evening Mass would use the Second Sunday of Advent liturgy. Fine, I thought. That is the way it should be, but the confusion resulted in us not having a sung Mass for this very important Holy Day.
With no advance warning, some parishioners arrived at Saturday evening Mass expecting to celebrate the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. At the end of Mass, Father explained that those who had not previously fulfilled their Holy Day obligation had now done so, but would need to return on Sunday. By strict interpretation of Canon Law 1248, they could also follow him to our sister parish six miles away and attend their 6 PM Vigil Mass, hear the same liturgy and homily, and satisfy their Sunday obligation. Here is where the Church needs to fine-tune the rules in my opinion.
I understand why the actual readings proclaimed at Mass should not determine whether one’s obligation has been satisfied. If the wrong Gospel is read by mistake at a Sunday Mass, surely Catholics could not be obligated to attend another Mass with the correctly prescribed reading. Yet, it seems to me that an exception should be made in the case where a day of obligation falls on a Saturday or Monday. The argument could be made for attending two Masses if the liturgical content (i.e. readings and homily) were required relevance for the Mass to count. If the readings do not matter as far as fulfilling the obligation, then it seems one Mass should be sufficient. When a Catholic feels he must be present at two Masses with the same readings and the same homily in order to avoid committing a mortal sin, the whole purpose of Mass attendance becomes misdirected.
We are often accused of being a religion of rules and regulations. Encouraging Mass attendance for the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception and also the 2nd Sunday of Advent one day apart is perfectly sensible, but allowing acceptance of the requirement by attending two identical Masses an hour apart places a technicality aura around the Mass that diminishes the true meaning of the celebration. While it may fulfill the letter of the law, it certainly seems to diminish the purpose of the dual observation and adds fodder for those who call us a legalistic religion.
Six years from now, the same situation will occur again. I hope by then, the Church will provide clarity by tweaking Canon Law 1248 to distinguish separately the time periods for observance when two Holy Days of Obligation are consecutive.
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